Allergies and Your Wedding

The topic of how to feed everyone at a wedding is unusually close to my heart, as I suffer from a couple of food allergies that make it very difficult for me to eat out or go to events that come with a lunch or other catering. The common perception of allergy sufferers is that we do this just to be awkward and create trouble for others. This is further compounded by tabloid stories of ridiculous 'celebrities' who've voluntarily given up certain foods to follow some fad diet. If I got £1 for every time I've been told I only 'think' I have an allergy, then I'd be a lot richer than I am now. I've also lost count of the number of occasions where I've gone somewhere to find there's literally nothing safe for me to eat. The most horrible ones of these are when I've actually spoken to the host/hostess beforehand to try and sort something out, only to turn up and be told they 'forgot'. For anyone doubting why this is unpleasant, picture yourself at a large gathering where everyone eats and you just sit there with nothing whilst people stare at you. Us humans have turned eating from just a biological necessity to an important social thing that brings people together. It's not fun to be cut out of this. 

Contrary to popular belief it's not that difficult to cater for allergy sufferers at a wedding or similar event. The key is to keep the food simple. There is no reason for lamb to be smothered in flour before its roasted, for example. It's easy for a chef to just do a chocolate mousse instead of a chocolate and nut one. Simple, seasonal, locally sourced food 'built' from the blocks of fish, meat, and vegetables actually tastes better than overly fancy things that have gone through twenty different processes before they reach your plate. The other key principle to accommodating allergy sufferers is to establish clear communication with your guests about the food to be served at the wedding. The easiest way to do this is to send out information with the save the dates or invites, asking guests to inform you of any dietary needs, or to perhaps contact the caterers directly. If you are having a buffet at the wedding, the allergy you will need to watch out for most is gluten/wheat, as many buffet options (e.g sandwiches) contain this. Gluten/wheat allergies are very common, so it would be prudent to include a couple of buffet items that are not based round bread or crackers. Perhaps there could be a vegetable or rice at the bottom instead. If you are having a traditional sit-down meal at your reception, you would expect to offer a vegetarian option, so why not make sure that the meat and vegetarian options are also free from the most common allergies (gluten, diary, nuts)? In the dessert course it could be as easy as offering a bowl of fruit for those who can't have cake. 

Allergy sufferers are used to caterers, chefs, and other food professionals saying they can't 100% guarantee things are allergy free. Like everyone else with a medical condition, we take responsibility for our own safety. But it would be lovely if there was something we could eat at your wedding. Your guests are there because they want to participate fully in this very special day with you, which includes sitting down to eat with everyone else. After all, weddings do go on for quite a while, and going ten hours on just fizzy wine doesn't do anybody any good!

For reference, at my own wedding I have guests allergic to the following; gluten/wheat, nuts, coconut, stoned fruits (like apricots), tapioca, palm oil, tomatoes, peppers. This is from a guest list of twenty-five and includes myself. All the food, including the wedding cake, will be safe for everyone to eat.

Music In Weddings - The Dilemma of the Bridal Entrance

Out of all the aspects of planning my own wedding, the one I've found trickiest so far is choosing the music. Music is an integral part of almost all weddings, and can be broken down into four 'acts': pre-ceremony, the bridal entrance, signing the register, and the exit of the wedding party. That's not to mention any music you might want during the reception. Most couples will have songs that have a special meaning to their relationship, or will share similar musical tastes. Mr Moosh and I, however, whilst very clear on what we don't want, have nothing to offer instead!

The bridal entrance being the most high profile section of the ceremony, the music used during this time receives the most attention from your guests and is therefore a piece that couples spend a lot of time choosing. For many years, the most popular piece has been the Bridal Chorus from Wagner's Lohengrin, incorrectly called "here comes the bride" by many. This piece is most fitting when played on a church organ, but it is important to check with your church if they allow the music, because Wagner was a notorious anti-semite and his Bridal Chorus has been banned from some churches. Pachelbel's Canon in D is also popular, as is Clarke's Prince Of Denmark's March, which was used during the wedding of the late Princess Diana. What these pieces all have in common is that they're classical music and, whilst appropriate for a very traditional or church wedding, are much less fitting for the modern, relaxed, civil ceremony Mr Moosh and I are having. Civil ceremonies also come with their own set of rules, which strictly ban any music that mentions religion. Obviously, this means hymns are a no go, but couples may be suprised to learn that modern songs such as Robbie Williams' Angels or Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer are also out. Any music chosen must be vetted by the registrar before the ceremony. Popular modern bridal entrance songs for civil ceremonies include versions of Over The Rainbow and Enya's Only Time. More couples are also choosing music from film soundtracks to accompany their wedding. Whatever music you chooses, make sure you time a 'practice run' down the aisle and edit the music length accordingly. There are few things more awkward than getting to the top of the aisle and then staring at the floor for a few minutes whilst the music finishes! 

My own dilemma with wedding music stems not only from rarely listening to music and therefore not having many favourite pieces (and none of them are suitable for a wedding anyway), but also from my wider misgivings about the bridal entrance itself. I am already highly uncomfortable with the idea that our guests - all 25 of them - will be staring at me when I walk in, and I don't want music that draws attention to me. I've toyed with the idea of abandoning the entrance altogether but, since the standard civil ceremony is quite short, and given that I want it to have a definite 'start' and 'end', I'm stuck with it. I'm also frustrated that, whilst music is something that makes other people feel a huge variety of emotions, I can't find any that does the same for me. It's unsurprising, then, that Mr Moosh and I have chosen not to have a 'first dance' or any music during the wedding reception. We have, at least, made a decision about the music for our exit at the end of the wedding ceremony. We chose Happy Together by The Turtles, which has the laid back, upbeat feel we'd like on the day. Now if only I could find something similar for the start of the ceremony, then it would all be sorted!

Strawberry Soufflé at Colston Hall Wedding Fair - Sunday 8th July 2012

Just a quick post today as my head is still ringing from the sound of the horrible circular saw the builders are using to cut our kitchen into the right shape. I can't believe it's July already - where does the year go? Those of you in the Bristol area who are planning a wedding for this winter or next year should make your way to the Colston Hall Wedding Fair this Sunday (the 8th), as I have a stand there where I may be giving out free strawberries, as well as vouchers for 10% off all Strawberry Soufflé services. It's the first ever wedding fair at Colston Hall and is from 11:30am until 4pm. You really can't miss Colston Hall - it's bright gold - so pop in for a chat about how Strawberry Soufflé can help you get the wedding you've always wanted!

Having An Eco-friendly Wedding

In the excitement leading up to your big day, it's easy to forget the impact a wedding can have on the environment. When you think about it though, all of the guests traveling to you, the food they eat, the electricity needed to run the marquee and for the band, not to mention the paper used in stationery - it all adds up to one whopper of a carbon footprint. Luckily for the Eco-conscious couple (and for the environment), green weddings are become more popular, and there are now a range of suppliers who can boast top-notch green credentials. It's also easier than you might realize to reduce the environmental cost of a wedding. 

Cut Down that Guest List!

The quickest way to reduce a wedding's carbon footprint is to reduce the number of guests. Less guests mean less people traveling in their cars, and less items needed on the day itself. It might seem fun to open your arms and invite everyone, but you'll end up with a lot of people you don't know, and a huge catering bill. The easiest way to weed out guests you don't need is to ask "would I invite this person to my house for a cup of tea?" If the answer is 'no', or 'hmmmm', or 'well I haven't seen them in 10 years, do they even like tea' then there's no point inviting them to the most important day of your life! 

Check Your Suppliers

As mentioned before, there are now a variety of wedding suppliers who specifically offer Eco-friendly alternatives to traditional items such as stationery or flowers. You can have Eco-venues, Eco-jewelry, and even Eco wedding dresses. The best place to start is on a website such as The Natural Wedding Company, which lists such suppliers. If your preferred supplier isn't on such a list, however, don't panic. You can simply ask them what they do as a company to reduce their environmental impact, and whether they can suggest greener alternatives for you from amongst their range. 

Locally Sourced Is Best

The less that food, flowers, and other items have to travel, the better for the planet. So it's a good idea to source things from suppliers who are local to where you're getting married. Locally produced flowers and food are all the rage right now, so it's easy to find suppliers offering them. This also means you'll be supporting independent British businesses, which is always good!

Reuse, Recycle, and Make things Yourself

A brilliant way to save money and help the environment is to go hunting for your wedding decorations in car-boot sales and antique shops. These places can be a treasure-trove of interesting finds, and it's nice to give new life to something. The decorations you come back with could even be your 'something old'. Another way to cut down on the carbon footprint, and give your wedding a personal touch, is to use your families hidden talents and make things yourselves. On the day itself, set up bags to recycle things like glass or plastics.

What About The Rings?

Your wedding rings are an important symbol of your married life together, but it's equally important that the people who mined the materials did so in safe conditions and received a fair wage. Buying a fair trade ring from somewhere such as CRED ensures that the workers were not exploited. Another option would be to get your rings custom made by a local jewelry designer. 

Use Technology, Not Paper

Everybody communicates via the internet these days, whether by email, instant message, or Skype. So do you really need all the paper commonly associated with a wedding? Instead of invites and RSVPs, why not have a wedding website? It's a great, instant way to update your guests, and it can be very cheap or even free! 

It's simple to make a few steps towards a greener wedding, and you can spend your big day knowing that the planet's as happy as you are. 

Image credit: trekalong.com

My Little Post on Bride2Bride

It's been an exciting and rather hectic couple of weeks down here, and once again I must apologise for my lack of blogging. Mr Moosh and I have finally managed to move into our new home, which meant we had very patchy internet access for a while. Now everything is working again, I'll be able to get back to regular blog posts. 

Firstly, take a look at the little post I wrote for bride2bride.co.uk. Bride2bride is a great new website where you can buy and sell wedding items, including wedding dresses. They also have their own blog, with lots of guest posts by wedding suppliers like myself. So pop on over and take a look! My post was about using bright colours in your wedding.

Rain And Your Wedding

I hope everyone had an enjoyable bank holiday weekend. If you caught any of the Jubilee coverage you will have noticed that the defining feature of the celebrations was the weather. Lets hope the Queen got a cup of tea after standing in the cold and rain for hours watching all those boats sail down the Thames. Nobody wants rain on their wedding but, with the classic unpredictability of the British weather, and with more couples choosing the cheaper winter months to marry in, it's best to be prepared for all eventualities. 

If your wedding celebrations are taking place inside a typical venue such as a hotel or country house, then the only time the rain is likely to find you is when you're moving from your wedding transport to your venue, and during the time allotted to group photos. Ask your photographer what they plan to do if it rains and make sure they are comfortable taking some of the group shots inside. Most photographers will also want to spend time alone with the couple to capture more personal shots, and for this you could invest in an umbrella that matches your wedding colours and go for a walk together. If you're planning on walking on grass, changing from heels to flats is also advisable. 

Even if your wedding reception is inside a marquee, the rain needn't prove a problem. Wedding marquees are very far removed from the damp, unstable structures you may have seen at your local village fete, and the marquee company should be happy to answer questions about preparing for wet weather. Thinking about your guests, make sure they don't have to walk too far between the marquee and the car park, toilets etc, and perhaps have ushers standing by with umbrellas when people arrive. Finally, remember that wellington boots now come in a variety of stylish designs, and could make for some amusing memories when looking back at the photos! 

Whatever the weather at your wedding, it's important to take a deep breath and remember that the most important thing is the love between you and your partner. The day will fly by and you and your guests will be too busy to notice if it's raining, so just put the umbrella up and enjoy yourself!

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlottejvogel/4783830813/

Wedding Colour Scheme - Bright Colours

Bright colours are gaining popularity in weddings this year and are a great choice for couples looking to stay away from all things 'vintage'. This colour scheme works particularly well in a marquee wedding as it injects life into what would be a big white space. Don't be afraid to use several different colours to really mix things up! Take a look at the mood board below for more ideas.

Image credits, from top left: michaelangelosevents.blogspot.com, weddinginvitations-online.com, emmalinebride.com, oncewed.com, blog.pinkcakebox.com, notonthehighstreet.com, blog.delightfullittlemess.com, www.wedding-etc.com, coxandcox.co.uk, onewed.com, notonthehighstreet.com, notonthehighstreet.com.

We Apologise For the Delay to this Service...

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks since I last blogged, and what a horrible two weeks at that! Firstly, my Mum was taken to hospital on the 14th of May, which meant I headed off to Gloucestershire to babysit seven cats and one grumpy teenage brother. I was there for almost a week, but luckily my Mum came home from hospital after being diagnosed with a kidney stone (owww). 

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more harrassed, the people selling the house Mr Moosh and I are buying decided not to exchange contracts with us. Despite previously saying they were happy to exchange and complete, they suddenly wanted to wait for visas to go to Australia! Needless to say, this made me one very stressed and angry individual. 

Due to all of this, my blog has been pushed further and further down my list of priorities until I suddenly realised I'd gone a fortnight without posting. So, I throw my hands up and apologise for the lack of wedding-related stuff round here recently. Whilst I wait for the temperature in the flat to get to a level where I can use a computer for more than five minutes without melting, have a read of this article I wrote for Cornish wedding blog Pasties & Petticoats. The blog is the brainchild of the lovely Donna Sharpe, who's a very talented wedding photographer who'll hopefully snap the pics for my own big day next year! 

Some Unusual Finds - Why You Should Cast A Wide Net When Shopping for Wedding Decorations

One of the traps people fall into when planning their wedding is thinking everything should be sourced from wedding-specific suppliers. This will firstly lead to spending more money than necessary - a 'love' sign from a high street shop still says love, but will be a lot cheaper than the one from an online wedding store. It will also mean you miss out on potentially finding those little quirky bits and pieces that add such a personal touch to your big day decorations. 

When you pick up a wedding magazine, the first thing that will happen is a load of inserts fall out and land on your feet. These brochures will often be for companies promising a 'one stop shop' for wedding decorations and accessories - place cards, table confetti, bunting etc etc. There's nothing wrong with these companies, but the lure of getting everything from one place means you will pay a premium on the price. It also means your wedding decorations will need to fit with the ranges they have on offer - the silver range, the purple range etc. If you want a more 'eclectic' feel to your day, or simply if your colours are not available, then these decoration sets are unlikely to prove useful. 

When thinking about your wedding decorations, it helps to cast a wide net and source individual pieces from a variety of places. Not only will this mean you can shop around for the best deal, but it also means you're more likely to find things meaningful to you and the look you're going for. It's also good to have an open mind on where decorations can come from. For example, you can find a huge variety of tea light holders in home furnishing shops. They might not have been designed specifically for weddings, but if they're the style you want then it doesn't matter. 

Whilst doing some shopping today, I popped into Paperchase to look at the pretty displays and found they stock a range of wedding supplies, from cup cake cases to place cards to confettti:  http://www.paperchase.co.uk/collections/wedding/icat/oewedding/. I also stopped off at Next, and saw that their home department had a huge variety of 'inspired by vintage' accessories that could be used to decorate a wedding. 

I found this wooden 'love' sign for £5.

I also got two of these very sturdy glass tea light holders at £3 each.

As you can probably tell, there's nowhere suitable in my flat to take pictures, so I resorted to using a cushion as a backdrop! I will be using both these pieces to style my wedding, most probably as decorations for the cake table. Next is not a shop many people would consider when choosing their wedding decorations, but the selection of accessories they had proves that you can find pretty things in the most unusual of places if you're willing to look hard enough.

Wedding Colour Scheme - Yellow

In the spirit of spring, even though we seem to have had summer in March and it's been pretty miserable since, here's a bright and cheerful yellow wedding mood board!

Image credits - from top left: sangmaestro.com, calyxflowers.com, boards.weddingbee.com, dilshil.com, flowerpic.co.cc, boards.weddingbee.com, prettypaperinvitations.com, atozweddingplanning.blogspot.com, weddingcircles.com, chicweddingideas.blogspot.com, marthastewartweddings.com, fortezi.blogspot.com.

An Alice In Wonderland Wedding

Lewis Carroll's brilliant Alice in Wonderland can be a great source of inspiration for a fun and colourful wedding. The general idea with this theme is that nothing should be too formal or 'matching'. I've put together a mood board of Wonderland-based ideas below.

 

Wedding Colour Scheme - Black & Red

Inspired by this wonderful Mass Effect mood board on the 'When Geeks Wed' blog - http://whengeekswed.com/blog1/2012/03/13/mass-effect-inspiration-board/ - I've put together my own black and red wedding colour scheme. They're probably not the first colours you'd think of when considering weddings but, like all colour schemes the secret to success is moderation. Pick out a few key pieces that can 'cope' with either colour - red flowers or black bridesmaid dresses, for example - instead of using them everywhere. White/cream would be a good accent colour for this palette. The black and red colour scheme works particularly well in a contemporary city wedding. 

As you might be able to tell, my numerous pleadings to Mr Moosh for him to teach me how to put all these images into one mood board fell on deaf ears. We'll all just have to put up with the long, stringy lines of images until I find someone else who can help, or I throw the computer out the window! 


Image credits: perfect-wedding-day.com, wedding-flowers-and-reception-ideas.com, beautiful-bridal.blogspot.com, beautifulcliche.tumblr.com, http://www.wedding-buffalo.com/black-bridesmaid-dresses.

A Wedding Planner Should...

This post is inspired by two things. Firstly, a conversation I had over the internet with a lady in the United States, who'd just fired her wedding planner because the planner was trying to push her into changing pretty much everything about her wedding. Secondly, the publication of the first issue of Unique Bride magazine, which has broken the mould of wedding magazines to say that your wedding is about you and should be filled with things you care about and look like you want! Thinking about these things has prompted me to clarify how a wedding planner should help you achieve a wedding that is as unique as the people getting married.

When I set up Strawberry Soufflé Weddings, I was adamant that I wouldn't be just another boring wedding planner, but someone who genuinely cared about getting you the wedding you wanted. As a bride-to-be myself, it can be rather soul-crushing to repeatedly hear the phrases "have to" or "you must" as soon as you mention the W-word. People who you thought were perfectly sane will start climbing the walls when you tell them your fiancé wont be wearing a tie, or that you don't want fake nails (my bridesmaid quit over the last one). It becomes very hard to stay true to the style of wedding you have imagined as a couple. Understanding all this is why I want to emphasise the most fundamental aspect of my business:

I WILL NEVER TELL YOU HOW YOUR WEDDING SHOULD BE. EVER. 

My job is to help you get what you want. Think of me as an extra pair of hands who can run around doing all the boring things whilst you enjoy yourselves and get on with your lives. Need a hundred paper pom-poms attached to the ceiling of your marquee - I can do that. Need someone to find you a supplier of steampunk wedding accessories, or vintage teasets - I can do that too. Organising your wedding can be fun, but it can also take up a huge amount of time, which is why it can be helpful to book one of Strawberry Soufflé's services - from full planning to venue styling. I think a lot of couples worry that hiring a wedding planner means you'll end up with someone else's wedding, but that's not how I work. A big part of my job is to meet with you and find out what makes you tick, what you like and dislike, and what you do and don't want on your big day. I then work with all of this to give you a wedding that is a reflection of you as a couple. No idea is too 'strange', no detail too small. 

Remember, there is no "have to" when it comes to weddings. There's only you, your partner, and the things you like. 


For more information and to arrange a free initial consultation, email info@strawberrysouffleweddings.com

Lighting for Weddings

Lighting is probably not at the top of your list of things to consider about your wedding styling, but it can make a huge difference to the atmosphere of the ceremony and reception. Well-placed lighting can create a romantic or contemporary look, soften harsh venue decor (such as stark white walls), make a large room more intimate, and separate different areas of your reception. With this in mind, I've put together a few images of the typical lighting techniques found at weddings. 

Candles
Candles are definitely the most common form of lighting at weddings. Not only do they give off a lovely soft glow (and sometimes scent!), but no other light says 'romance' like candles. Despite being used traditionally in religious settings, candles have come to lose this connotation, and are also found in a lot of civil ceremonies. There are several ways you can use candles during your wedding.

How about lining the aisle with candles, to create a dramatic backdrop to your entrance?

 

Image credits - from top: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/aisle-decor-for-a-rustic-wedding, elizabethannedesigns.com, my1950swedding.tumblr.com, trendeeflowers.blogspot.com,



As you can see from the images above, many different types of candle can be used to line your aisle - from tall pillar candles to small tealights. Candles also look really great when combined with floral displays at this point in the ceremony. When choosing candles to put along the aisle, you need to consider the style of bridal gown you will be wearing. If your dress is quite wide, or has a long train, then exposed tealight candles will pose a potential fire hazard - why not try pillar candles in hurricane lanterns instead? 

Candles are also a great addition to your wedding reception, and are often used as table decorations. The type of candle used will depend on the sort of wedding centerpiece you are having. A tall floral centerpiece works well surrounded by small tealights, whilst eclectic arrangements of votive candles can be a centerpiece of their own, and candelabras always create impact.

  






Image credits - from top: nycityweddings.com, flickriver.com,  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ideas-for-non-floral-centerpieces, myweddecorations.blogspot.com. 








Paper Lanterns 
 A clever way to add both lighting and colour to your wedding decorations, paper lanterns have the added bonus of being cheap to buy. They can also be very visually striking when arranged in a large cluster. Use them to add interest and texture to the ceiling of a marquee. 

Image credits - from top: hitched.co.uk,  taragettingmarried.blogspot.com, adisplacedfloridian.blogspot.com. 

Fairy Lights

Great for both indoor and outdoor weddings, fairy lights can be hung from or wrapped round practically anything. They can create a range of moods, from rustic charm when wrapped round the beams of a barn, to contemporary elegance when used in a marquee or hotel. Just make sure all their wires are neatly tucked away! 

 

Image credits - from top: justthething.co.uk, helencarterweddings.co.uk, asianweddingideas.blogspot.com.

The main thing to consider when choosing lighting is the mood you are trying to create. An intimate, vintage-inspired wedding will require different lighting to a large, contemporary celebration. Your choice of venue will also dictate what lighting you can use. Some venues will not allow certain candles, for example, because of fire safety. The colours of the room and the time of day and season you are marrying in will also impact on lighting options. The images above, however, prove that lighting is a very effective way of creating atmosphere for your wedding, and will hopefully inspire you to think about what you can use ar your own celebration. 

For help with lighting, and all other aspects of venue styling, why not hire Strawberry Soufflé to create the wedding you've always dreamed of? Email info@strawberrysouffleweddings.com to arrange a free consultation. 

Tiny Cakes!

As an alternative to wedding favours, or just for fun, why not treat your guests to their very own individual cake? These mini wedding cakes can be decorated in a huge array of colours, and look like delightful little morsels of squidgy goodness. Take a look at the following examples and say yes to the tiny cake! 

 

 

Image credits - from top: perfect-wedding-day.com, julietstallwoodcakesandbiscuits.co.uk, londoncake.co.uk, primadonnabride.co.za, devinecakedesign.co.uk, hannicollection.com, ladyemilycakes.com, icemaidencakes.com.

The Do's and Don'ts of Bridesmaids

If you follow me on Twitter ( @StrawbSoufWed), you might have caught a few frustrated tweets over the Easter weekend, when I received an email from my last bridesmaid to say she was quitting. This was the woman who I'd been friends with for fourteen years, and now she wanted nothing more to do with me because we differed in our ideas of what made a good wedding. Despite sending several lengthy emails back, I never did get to the bottom of what was going on, but the stark fact was that both the people I'd originally picked to be my bridesmaids had now thrown in the towel, leaving me with a wedding party of exactly 0. 

I'll admit I found the experience rather hurtful. It's not pleasant to be told you don't merit support and companionship on your wedding day. I'm lucky to have a great relationship with my mum, and I know she will help me a lot on the wedding morning, but it would have been lovely to have my friend there too - not only to crack a joke and ease my nerves, but because I wanted to share the most special day of my life with her. The events of the past weekend got me thinking, though, about how we brides go about choosing our bridesmaids, and what the bridesmaid role itself entails. 

Traditionally, bridesmaids were needed to confuse evil spirits who might wish to curse or hurt the bride on the wedding day. This led to them wearing white so that the spirits might mistake one of them for the bride. They were usually chosen from unwed women of a marriageable age. The size of the wedding party would be carefully calculated to show off the family's wealth and status. Nowadays, of course, the bride can choose whomever she wants, but will usually pick her close friends, sisters, or future sisters-in-law. 

Besides the straightforward business of actually attending the wedding, what duties are bridesmaids expected to perform? Contrary to popular belief, there is no right or wrong answer to this question, and the role of the bridesmaid is as unique as the wedding she is a part of. However, the responsibilities of the role, and especially the associated costs, are the most common bone of contention amongst modern brides and their bridesmaids. At the most basic level, bridesmaids will need to support the bride on the wedding day, from helping her get ready in the morning to holding all those layers of wedding dress when she uses the loo, but beyond this the term "support" can mean all manner of things. It's no wonder that some bridesmaids approach the role with an aura of trepidation (we've all seen photos of truly hideous bridesmaids dresses), or decline the invitation altogether. 

In terms of what bridesmaids might be asked to wear, there is a lot more choice available now, which should banish fears of that maroon monstrosity that haunts most girls' nightmares. The Dessy Group, for example, have bridesmaid dresses in every colour and style imaginable. High street stores such as Monsson, Coast, or Next have great selections of formal gowns. The new service from Maids to Measure even lets your bridesmaids design their own dress! Even with all these options, you still might be presented with a dress that makes you cringe, and the following advice could be helpful. If the bride herself is paying for the bridesmaid dresses, it is courteous to just grin and bear the dress you're given, and remember that you can put her in something horrible at your own wedding. If the bride has asked you to pay for your own dress, however, you should be given more say in what you wear. It's still polite to try and find some common ground - perhaps the length of the dress could be changed, or the shade of colour altered a little. Most brides will appreciate if you voice your concerns in advance rather than refusing to wear the dress on the day itself, but ultimately you need to remember that the happiness of your friend or sister on her wedding day is more important than your opinion of a dress you'll only wear once.

Brides need to remember that the cost of some bridesmaid dress can run into the hundreds of pounds, and that not all of your bridesmaids will be able to afford this expense. It is possible to find some great budget-friendly dresses on the high street or via websites such as Girls of Elegance. An alternative might be to pick a colour palette and then ask your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, allowing them to find styles and prices that suit. You could also consider splitting the cost of the dress, or paying for other things such as shoes or jewelry. Ultimately it's worth asking yourself if that £300 dress is more important than having your best friends with you on the day. 

Another cause of arguments between brides and bridesmaids are the number of pre-wedding events the bridesmaid might be asked to attend. Along with the hen night, there can be bridal dress shopping, spa days, rehearsal dinners, and general get-togethers or parties. Whilst these can undoubtedly be fun, the cost of attending can really pile up, especially if your bridesmaids live far away from the venue or are attending multiple weddings in the same year. Before organising such events, the bride should ask herself if she could afford to go were she to swop places with her maids. If your answer begins with "ummm", it's best to keep the pre-wedding events to a minimum. If your bridesmaids are planning your hen night, it's a good idea to tell them the sort of thing you would or wouldn't enjoy to avoid nasty surprises, and don't expect them to automatically book a lavish weekend in a different country.

I've read some interesting guides to picking your bridesmaids, where the bridesmaids' duties on the wedding day itself run for pages and pages. The main thing to remember about your wedding day is that, whilst your bridesmaids will want to help you, they are not your staff. Anyone invited to a wedding - including bridesmaids - will want to enjoy themselves, and they shouldn't keep having to check that things are running smoothly. If you really need someone to make sure the caterer has arrived or that the DJ plays your favourite song, it's a good idea to hire a wedding planner or co-ordinator for the day. If a bridesmaid offers to help by baking your wedding cake or making place cards, let her do so - it's her way of showing she cares, and will give a wonderful, personal touch to the decorations. Don't, however, give your maids huge tasks such as "find a photographer" - they won't know where to begin or what you would want, and will end up confused and resentful. 

On the other hand, a good bridesmaid will know to help the bride with her make-up or with getting into her dress on the morning, and know when to provide the friendly hug to allay those pre-wedding nerves. They'll know not to get drunk, or try and pull the best man. They'll understand that this is your wedding, not theirs, and you are allowed to make the day look and feel the way you want. They can be relied on to smile at all the right times, and to even give a reading during the ceremony. A good bridesmaid then, on your wedding day, is like a good friend during any other day; trustworthy and dependable. 

Weddings can sadly bring out the worst in people, and friendship-ending disagreements between bride and bridesmaid are more common that you might think. The secret to getting the best out of the relationship really comes down to compromise. Every bride will have things that are non-negotiable, but also things which are not so important. A bridesmaid disliking the length of her dress, for example, is a very different problem from one trying to change the whole style of your wedding. Picking the right people is obviously important, and most arguments can be solved with tact and a cup of tea, but some bridesmaids will turn out to be so unreliable that you'd be better off losing them altogether. As you can tell from the post above, there's no easy or firm guide to choosing bridesmaids or being one. The best way to handle the role is to, unlike my own bridesmaids, behave like an adult!

What is a Wedding Planner and why should I have one?

I thought I'd take some time to explain in more detail how a wedding planner can help you achieve the wedding you've always wanted. The popular view of wedding planners is that they're a luxury that only the rich and famous can afford, which is not true. Strawberry Soufflé extend the same level of service to all clients regardless of their budget or style of wedding. Part of my job, in fact, is to help you stay on budget, by searching for the best deals and negotiating with suppliers on your behalf. You can rest assured your budget is right at the forefront of everything I do for you, and I will never suggest suppliers or ideas that you can't afford.

Couples also worry that hiring a wedding planner will mean you get a wedding full of things somebody else likes, and this isn't true either! My goal is to plan you a wedding that reflects you as a couple and that incorporates everything you've told me is important to you. You're free to contact me as many times as you like to update me on things you want, and I promise not to book anything until I've got your complete approval. Of course, if you'd rather just give me a brief and then let me get on with it, that's fine too. Every wedding is as unique as the couple getting married, and I get a lot of enjoyment from helping you get the day you want. 

Strawberry Soufflé offer a range of services, from full wedding planning to on the day co-ordination and venue styling. This means you're in charge of how much of your wedding I plan. You might want help with just one aspect, or perhaps you'd like me to organise the entire event. People have busy lives, and it can sometimes take a colossal 250 hours to plan a wedding. My job is to take away all the stress and hassle that comes with wedding planning, and leave you to enjoy the fun part - getting married to the person you love!

If you'd like more information, or to arrange a free initial consultation, please contact me on 07930396203 or email info@strawberrysouffleweddings.com

Beth Philpot Bespoke Bridal Wear

If you've read my post about the National Wedding Show, then you'll know that finding your perfect wedding dress is not always the fun and exciting experience it's made out to be. For some of us, it's a slide into increasing desperation as we realise our perfect dress doesn't exist. The recent growth of the vintage and vintage-inspired bridal wear market helps to solve this dilemma for some, but for others the best solution is to have a bespoke dress designed and made specially. 

Beth Philpot is a Somerset based bespoke bridal wear specialist, who can design and make the dress you've always dreamed of. Having your dress made specially for you means you get to choose the style, fabrics and detailing, and perhaps have a period reproduction dress, or one made from Eco-friendly materials. All this without having to trawl round countless bridal shops trying to find the best compromise between what you really want and what's on offer. 

Beth has a background in making costumes for film and theatre - she even worked on Pirates of the Caribbean II and King Arthur - and she has a degree in costume design. As such you are ensured to receive the highest quality workmanship and not a dress that's been made somewhere in China. She prides herself on offering a personal and friendly service where you can be involved with the design process and truly happy with the end result.

The design process begins with a free initial consultation at a time that is convenient to you (including evenings and weekends), which allows Beth to get to know you and understand what you're looking for in your dress. With this input, she can produce some designs until you're happy you've found the perfect dress. You can choose from a huge array of fabrics in a variety of colours and, once happy with the quote Beth has provided, your measurements will be taken. This ensures the dress will fit you perfectly and compliment your body shape. 

Beth will arrange several fittings with you - including one to try on a toile cotton mock-up of the dress - to make sure you are happy with the dress and that it fits exactly, and details such as embroidery or embellishment will be added just before the final fitting. Prices are dependent on the type of fabric used and the style of dress, but start at £800, which is no more expensive than the vast majority of off-the-peg dresses sold in bridal shops. Having a bespoke dress made will, as I said before, ensure that you get the dress you really want, and not have to settle for something that's second best. It's also a great way to gain creative input into what you wear on your big day, and will definitely guarantee nobody will ever wear the same dress as you! 

Below are some examples of Beth's previous work. I particularly love the beautiful, delicate little butterflies on the third dress! Please take a look at her website at  http://www.bethphilpot.co.uk/index.htm for more information and to arrange an initial consultation.

Naked Cakes!

If you want something a bit different from the usual white iced wedding cake, or perhaps want to try making your own cake, then why not have a 'naked' cake? These are cakes which don't have any icing over them, so retain their simple sponge on display. That's not to say they're boring though - you can jazz them up with decorations like fresh flowers or berries, perfect if you're going for a more natural, rustic look. Foregoing the icing can also save you money, as you're not paying someone to expertly decorate your cake. 

For inspiration, here are some naked cakes I found using a quick google search:

 image from bowtiesandbliss.com

 image from yourweddingsupport.blogspot.com

 image from weddingwindow.com

image from weddingwindow.com

Even though my useless gluten allergy means I can't eat wedding cake, I think naked cakes are great! They look so much more fresh, natural, and tasty than ordinary, iced wedding cakes. Let's hope they become a popular feature in weddings this year.

Bramble & Wild Floral Emporium

Flowers can be a beautiful and fun part of your wedding, and you don't even need a lot of them to make an impact. A couple of bundles of fresh blooms can transform any venue, and instantly put your guests in a positive mood. It's very important to find a florist who understands what you want, as each florist will have a certain style that they're more comfortable with. Remember, just because it's a wedding doesn't mean you have to carry a bouquet of white roses - the world, or at least the flowers in it, is your oyster! 

With this in mind, I'd like to introduce the wonderful Bramble and Wild floral emporium. I met them whilst at the Top Hats and Tea Cups wedding fair in Bristol, and was immediately wowed by their eclectic display of flowers in jam jars, urns, and tea cups! Based on the quirky Catherine Hill in Frome, they specialise in rustic and vintage styled flowers, using local, English flowers where possible. Having seasonal, English flowers in your wedding is a great way to save money, as the less miles the little petals have to go, the less costs you'll need to pay. Sticking with things that are in season also means the flowers will be in the best possible condition and far less likely to wilt or droop as the day goes on.

Bramble and Wild have a friendly, personal approach to weddings. They enjoy getting to know their customers, and like to sit down with a glass of bubbly or a cup of tea to discuss all their requirements. They talk about all aspects of your wedding, to make sure their designs fit in perfectly and compliment your chosen colours and themes. 

Bramble and Wild pride themselves on "natural, rustic designs inspired by nature and our wonderful countryside", and enjoy using mosses, lichen, and other materials to give your flowers that 'just picked from a hedgerow' look. They cover weddings in Somerset, Devon, and Wiltshire, but are always happy to consider requests from further afield. 

Bramble and Wild are a brilliant choice if you're planning a rustic or vintage inspired wedding, and I think you'll agree that their displays look stunning! Contact them through their website at www.brambleandwild.com for further information.

The National Wedding Show - Birmingham NEC - 17th March

I'm going to put aside my 'wedding planner hat' for a little while and just speak as a bride-to-be. Planning your wedding should be, and often is, a fun thing to do. Despite the inevitable stress and nerves, I think most people look back with a certain fondness on how they managed to make their wedding reflect the peculiar bunch of qualities they have as a couple. Since Mr Moosh and I got engaged, I've been having a great time searching through the huge range of things on offer in the wedding industry to make sure we have the wedding we want (Mr Moosh doesn't like wedding planning so it's all down to me). This is what inspired me to finally take the plunge and start my own business so that I could help other couples do the same. One thing I've not been enjoying, however, in any way at all, is finding my wedding dress.

When I first got engaged, the last 'fair' type thing I'd been to was the BBC's 'Big Bash' in 1996, so I was curious to try at least one wedding fair before I got married. I chose the National Wedding Show because I thought I'd come away with so many ideas and things sorted that there'd be no need to go to another fair. Since then, I've been to a handful of local wedding fairs in Bristol, and particularly enjoyed the ones that had a vintage theme, but I booked tickets for the National Wedding Show anyway to enjoy a day out with my Mum and bridesmaid. I'd heard that there would be a large selection of wedding dresses to try on, and this was one thing I was particularly keen to see.

I came away from the National Wedding Show not brimming with ideas, but rather disappointed. Actually, not just rather disappointed, but very unhappy. That's a much better reflection of the emotions I went through when I'd found not one single wedding dress in my size. I hold my hands up - I'm a size 16 (UK) and not pretty. I don't expect there to be hundreds of things especially for me. On the other hand, it's not just film stars who get married. On the dress stands where they were having a sale I can understand there being a limited range - that's all they have left - but on the stands where bridal boutiques were showing their range of dresses, why not have copies of each dress in several sizes? Why was everything size 10 or 12? Don't they want to appeal to as many customers as possible? As I watched other women walk out of the various changing rooms and be admired by their friends and family, I was left feeling like I wasn't being allowed to get married. It's stupid really - it's just a dress - but choosing your wedding dress is meant to be a nice thing, not something that makes you wish you could get married in your pyjamas.

Aside from dresses, the selection of suppliers at the National Wedding Show was rather odd. There were an unusual number of stands dedicated to getting married in other countries. It's lovely if you want to get married abroad, but I'm probably right in saying that most brides at the show would be marrying here in the UK, and would prefer a few more UK suppliers. There was only one florist, tucked away in a corner. The cake makers we spoke to all did their usual thing of not wanting to deal with so many allergies. There was meant to be a special 'vintage area', but this turned out to be a little cafe where you could get tea and cake, and a tiny handful of stands where people had the word 'vintage' in their name. My Mum, bridesmaid, and I found the fashion show rather amusing, especially the part where a hapless male model had to dress up as a mythical faun 'Pan the piper' (at least that's what we thought it was alluding to). The popular blog, Rock My Wedding, were there, but the feedback from the microphone was so bad we couldn't hear what the poor lady was saying. Looking back on the day, the only highlights were finding the stand dedicated to getting married in Cornwall (we're getting married in Cornwall so this was relevant), and bumping into IDo Wedding Videographers who are based here in Bristol and who are a really lovely bunch and well worth checking out. 

So a word of advice: as with most things, it's better to go local when looking at wedding fairs. Oddly, you're more likely to gain inspiration from a smaller, local fair than something the size of The National Wedding Show. After all, if you can talk to a local florist and see the flowers they could provide, you can narrow down what you want because you can ponder whether that particular florist can do your wedding. If the only suppliers you can talk to are ones that cover parts of the country you don't live in, then it's much harder to think things through. Also, if you're not a size 10/12, don't bother going to the national show, because they won't have any dresses for you and it's not much fun being made to feel like an outcast. As for my own dress, the option of turning up in my pyjamas is looking more and more inviting.